The Interferences of Life/The Hauntings of Injuries Past

So its been a whole lot of ups and downs over the past few weeks. It goes without saying that life can get in the way of even the biggest plans and there is no exception to this rule, even for P90X. A few weeks ago we went to Ireland for a 3 day vacation and upon my return home I had a major final paper due and a field placement orientation to complete. I hear people say there are no excuses, but I beg to differ, as I don't get paid like the athletes that preach an all or nothing mentality. I was not going to spend time working out in a hotel room in Ireland, nor was I going to put 40% of my grade into the back seat for vanity's sake. What I did though was find a balance and move on with my life. I would say that I got 4 good workouts in that week, but I did skip days. The days we missed got pushed forward so we will end up doing the program for longer than 90 consecutive days. We moved workouts around, did them exhausted and ignored the eating plan because 3 days in Ireland was not going to be spent with out beer, fish & chips and other delicious food. There is no point in traveling if you cannot enjoy it and enjoy it we did.

A few weeks after that was my birthday. Again, I wanted real food for my birthday. We went to Brugge and had yummy frites with oh so yummy samurai sauce (my favorite frite sauce) and curry ketchup (my second favorite). I took it off because it was my birthday and even Natalie Portman took off her birthday from her year long stint of ballet training for Black Swan. If she can, so can I.

With the celebrating done, vacation and stress of finals done, we are back to a schedule. I am feeling stronger and I am actually beginning to enjoy weight lifting. I can tell that I am getting stronger for sure. I have also started to notice that my derby injuries are coming back to haunt me. As most of you know, shortly after the move to DC I went shoulder first into a wall and ended up with an AC separation. Since I was never one for push-ups anyways, I never really noticed the long term damage. Now that I engage in push ups, pull ups and the like almost daily, the fact that I did such damage is very obvious. It is weaker than my other shoulder and while I am building up strength I am also coming to terms with the fact that my right shoulder cannot do what the left one can. When I wake up, during stretching or sometimes for no reason at all I will get a huge pop or cracking sound in my shoulder, sometimes so loud that it startles the dog (and me). Inside it feels like my whole shoulder has relocated itself. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it doesn't, but even the reminder of how painful it was when I did it makes me sick to my stomach. I make sure to push myself, but only to the point that it won't make working out impossible for me the next day. I am getting stronger and with that getting smarter and more in tune with my body.

I also did some damage to my right knee last year. After a solid 3+ years of skating at 3-4 days a week it was bound to happen. That injury has never really felt 100% better and now that I am in a country with much better health care costs than the US, I plan on getting another MRI. I still believe that I tore my meniscus. During my first MRI it looked at my ACL and PCL, both of which I pulled, but I am almost sure if they did an MRI to cross section my knee vertically and not horizontally, the results would be different. Even after all this time, to touch the inside of my right knee is still extremely tender. Needless to say, P90X has put strain onto my knee once more and some days the pain is fairly, well, painful again. I loved derby and always will, but there are new skaters and new leagues pop up every 5 seconds and, as we know, quantity never equals quality. They are buying shitty equipment and posting "cool- look at my bruises photos" on facebook and those photos are of their knees all bruised up which makes me want to find them and slap them upside the head. I know that many leagues have little to no guidance, especially here in Belgium, but I wish someone would tell them 1) knee bruises are NEVER "cool" 2) invest in some decent gear. So, that is my rant and rave and if you are reading this and you play derby and your knee pads cost less than $60 (Very MINIMUM), you don't own knee gaskets for under your pads and you don't replace your knee pads AT LEAST once a season you are sealing your fate of serious knee injury. The majority of skaters don't stick around long anyways, so they might as well gift themselves a consolation prize of good knees for after their short derby careers. For the few that do become the few quality skaters, knee problems will be inevitable because of the amount of falling that takes place so also be good to yourself and buy great knee pads so you can kick ass for many seasons to come.

Well I think that is about all. I hope that life keeps calm for the next few weeks so I am able to get back into a routine and see major results by the end of second month.

In the words of Tony- Do your best and forget the rest.

You can't be 100% -100% of the time (and other life lessons)....

or I that is what I keep trying to tell myself. I can't be on point and perfect in my workouts everyday. This has been the big lesson as I rounded out week one, trudged through week 2 and am keeping in close to my heart during week 3.

I have cried in frustration twice already. The first time was on Friday (2/4/10) at the end of my 1st- 6 day cycle. Up until then I had grown more and more exhausted. I know its because I worked out 6 days in a row which my body is not used to doing, but most of the time the workouts felt within reach. Weight lifting days are not the most fun, but at least I get to spend my time with my pull up bar (no, I still can't do a full pull up). On the cardio days we had done plyometrics which I had done before numerous times at derby practice and yoga which I had done in college, but Friday was Kenpo. For those of you not in the know (which was me), Kenpo is some sort of mixed martial arts and boxing. Kenpo made me cry. I would like to say that it was, at least in part due, to my period and I am sticking by my story. Bottom line was I was exhausted. Thankfully Saturday was day 7- my day off. I loved day 7. The second cry was at the beginning of week two when I realized some changes needed to be made to sustain this program.

During week 2 there were some major changes. I realized that neither Lynn nor I could sustain working out in the evenings. It was obvious by half way through the week that our workouts would continue to suffer without changing our workout times. Lynn began doing her workouts before work in the morning and I did mine during the day as a break from school. If you know me you know that I am NOT a morning person and getting up at 5:30am to workout in no way appeals to me. Oddly enough though, I missed working out with Lynn. I liked doing it together. She is better at the weight stuff and I like asking her opinion and getting her advice. In return, I am a much bigger fan of yoga and plyo so I try and make out workouts during cardio days more fun by making workout mixes on my itunes and trying to keep it light hearted. We help each other through it even if its just laughing with each other at how insanely hard the workout is.

Beyond the working out part the food continued to be challenging. The program gives you three different stages of diet. The first is tor burn fat, the second is an energy maximizer balanced and low fat, and the third is an athlete's diet which is rich in carbs. The programs encourages you to listen to your body and move through the first two levels however you see fit. There is no length of time to be on level one before moving to level two. The third level, however, is "earned" and should not be used it simply as a diet. Level one was not working for me. My body doesn't function well on a high protein, low carb diet. It never has. I was exhausted and miserable. I decided to have two carb servings a day instead of one which the program recommends as an option. The idea is to figure out how much carbs your body needs and not eat in excess of that. The carbs should also, obviously, be "good" carbs such as whole wheat pasta. Within a few days I had more energy and was starting to feel like I had the energy to expend in my workout. I have now moved onto level two, which is mostly the removal of one protein and the addition of one carb (which I had already done). The program says that most people stay on this level the entire time. I can see why. Its a good balance of protein and good carbs, good fats, etc. Junk food is just not an option, but not that its been gone for a while I don't even miss it. 

The other hard part of the diet has been finding variety in eating.  I owe a lot to Lynn for being able to find interesting recipes and then tailor them to our vegetarian diet. She has really saved my sanity. Eating the same things day after day would not have sustained 90 days. At first we spent a lot of meals eating the same thing and it quickly got old and annoying. Now that we can have another serving of carbs it has made a huge difference in variety at meal time. I try and spread my carb eating throughout the day breaking it down into half carb (approx. 100 calories per half) servings. It is interesting how much I have changed my ideas about portion sizes. Now 1 cup of pasta (a FULL carb serving) seems like a ton of food. The diet has really helped me learn how to fuel by body to get the best performance out of it. Although I have been strict I still have allowed myself a few beers over the last couple weeks :) A lady has to be a little bad sometimes....

That brings us to this week-week 3. I feel that we are starting to get into a routine. When I look in the mirror I already see the difference and I can see it in Lynn too. It feels so nice to know that our hard work is paying off. Beyond the looks I have more stamina endurance wise and continually lift more weight. I can ALMOST do a full pull up so expect big news soon.  As soon as I can do it I will be singing it from the rooftops.

This morning was probably my biggest accomplishment. I got up with Lynn and worked out at 5:30am. Me! That's right... me. I hold told Lynn the night before I MAY try and get up, but I have said that a few times only to have her wake me up at 5am and in return she got me wining/growling at her to get out of my face. But this morning, well.... I got UP! It helped that Yoga is my favorite day, even if it is the longest. When she woke up me, my first thought was , "oh, hell no!" and then, out of nowhere I heard a little voice in my head say, "just try." It was the strangest, sort of out of body experience. I shot right up and out of bed, got dressed, found my place next to Lynn, placed a cup of coffee in front of my yoga mat and began. 

I have been continually impressed with my body and my mind since the beginning. I have asked it to do things I never thought I could do even when my body screams that it can't possibly do one more minute of a workout. I believe that is where that is where the little voice lives in my head, the one that told me to get up this morning. Its the one you hear right after you tell yourself "you can't possibly lift your leg/ pull yourself up/stand in warrior one one more time" and you do it anyways. That is where that voice comes from.

And so it begins

Well, it actually began two days ago. My aim was to start on the 1st, but I had all my stuff and wanted to coordinate my one day off a week to be Saturdays so I started Sunday. Much to my surprise and utter joy, Lynn has decided to do it with me. I am so thankful because even after the first two days I realized that the motivation would have waned quickly because of how hard the program is.

Day 1:

This consisted of taking pictures (which I refuse to look at since I know it will make me sad), Doing body measurement (which made me feel totally exposed and like a high school girl), grocery shopping and finally the work out and diet plan.

WORKOUT: Chest & Back, Ab Ripper X

Chest & Back:

I had my first formal date with my pull up bar. She is lovely, but makes me work very hard for her. Currently, I cannot do a full pull up. I have been told this can be normal for women as we have less natural upper body strength. Apparently, I also have no coordination muscle memory to do such a move, so my muscles also need to learn the movement. The rest of the DVDs was push ups, push ups and more push ups.

Ab Ripper X:

Oh my. This workout is crazy. Its 20 minutes that we do 3 days a week on the days we do weight lifting DVDs (like today with Back & Shoulders). There will definitely be room to grow. It is made to be extreme advanced with no apologies about it. You do 339 sit ups in 20 minutes. so there is that....

I liked the DVDs because they have a lot of room to grow. I felt inadequate, but also feel confident that if I stick with it I will go far. The theme of the workout plan is to commit and work hard by giving it your best. I have also been on a lot of online communities that let you know its okay to feel frustrated especially through the first month.

The diet:

So this is where the commitment come in. It is an extremely hard diet, but extremely healthy and I feel good doing it (except for the sugar withdrawal that I will get to). Its high protein and, for now, lower carb intake. The idea is to clean all the bad processed sugars and crappy processed carbs out and replace them with the much healthier options of whole wheat, fruit in moderation, etc. You also intake carbs at the right time like after working out. I am doubly excited that Lynn is doing this part with me. It would have been hard eating like this alone.

Day 2:

Plyometrics

Here we go with the endurance and cardio. It is an hour long I had those thoughts of, "I can't physically lift my leg one more time," But then I did. I really surprised myself. My muscles didn't want to move, but somehow I willed them to do so. It felt really great, this whole mind of matter thing. While there was times I could not keep up I am glad that I have a lot of room to grow.

Day 3:

Sugar???

The sugar withdrawal kicked in last night and today has been really bad. I already ate my fruit for the day and my fruit bar for snack. I also stupidly ate a "protein" bar that is made by Snickers (insert duh moment here) and was shocked after I read the label and saw the 15 GRAMS of processed sugar. While grocery shopping Sunday we picked up a whole bunch of bars to try and one of them was snickers. I looked and it had the recommended amount of carbs and protein so I added it to our pile. Now, I am not someone to be fooled in the marketing of large companies to think they make "healthy" options, but I guess I let my guard down. So, in the middle of my sugar craving today I grabbed for a protein bar and decided on the peanut butter flavor, courtesy of Snickers. Immediately I bit into it and it was the delicious. I thought, "yep, this is way to good to be true..." and it was. Though it had the recommended amount of carbs, unlike the other bars that have maybe 3 grams of sugar adding to their carbs, this has 15! Now I am all hopped up on processed sugar which feels great right now, but just like smoking I will suffer for it later. I had no idea kicking sugar would be so hard. I quit smoking almost 3 years ago and I don't think it was as hard as the sugar thing.

Well, its time for some Arms & Shoulders and, of course, Ab Ripper X.

Until next time...

An Introduction to My Affair

THIS IS ME:

THIS IS P90X: 

AND THIS IS P90X:

AND THIS IS P90X:

(I enjoyed their badass description they included for the workouts so I thought I would share.)

"P90X is a revolutionary system of 12 sweat-inducing, muscle-pumping exercises designed to transform your body from regular to ripped in just 90 days."

It includes comprehensive 6 day a week workout plan, 3-phase nutrition plan, a detailed fitness guide, a calendar to track your progress, and the ability to make me cry. The last one is an strictly an assumption and I will let you know if/when it happens.

 
THIS IS A LINK TO THEIR WEBSITE:

http://www.beachbody.com/text/products/programs/p90x/popups_control/philosophy.jsp?pn=18004611535

OH, AND THIS IS MY PULL UP BAR:

AND BACK TO ME:

Before entering into this I did much research. There are hundreds of youtube videos, photos and personal friend that have experienced the program and vouch for it. What I found appealing was that it made no easy promises. There is no "just 20 minutes a day" or "no need to change your what you eat" or "lose 100 pounds in 2 weeks" (okay the last one is a bit of an exaggeration).Its hard and promises to be hard. Its a commitment and there is need to reshape your life around the program. However, it does promise results for your immense sacrifice and this is what made me respect it and why I am doing it.

A few things have led me to this point. One was a weight gain of probably 20(ish) pounds. There are many components that led to this weight gain. Moving (to D.C.), quitting smoking, a bad relationship (I mean really shitty), good food, beer, an overly stressful job, a good relationship (the best one and the one that stuck), stress, knee injury from roller derby, quitting my overly stressful job, starting grad school, moving again (to Belgium) and finally my recent decision to take a hiatus from playing roller derby.  I am no longer comfortable in my own skin. I want my clothes to fit again,mainly because I don't want to buy more. I want to be healthy and happy again. I consider myself a healthy person. I am vegetarian, I focus on eating well and I have always worked out. I have also taken a bit of a hiatus from that as well. Belgium has offered me many an array of yummy chocolate, beer, wine, and all the fresh made bread I could eat.

That leads us to present day and this blog. I created a blog because, well, its a ass kicking hard program and I need to be publicly shamed into accountability.     

If all goods arrive on time, my plan is to start on 2/1/10. 

I invite you all along my journey. On the surface its about working out, but I imagine its really about much more....